You Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

Adrian Quintina
3 min readFeb 22, 2023

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Being a confident, goal-getting, badass seems to be the rule of the day for most women. You would think that would be hard enough, but for some reason, one of the hardest things in the world could be to ask for help when needed. This seems ridiculous, considering we are such a communal species. There are billions of people in the world and we are all scrambling to do the best we can for ourselves and for our families. So why is it that it seems so impossible sometimes to ask for help?

Too many women feel that they have to go it alone.

Maybe we have had an experience in the past that made us feel as if we had nobody to rely on.

Maybe it seems as if there isn’t anyone out there who actually cares what we are going through.

Maybe we have been disappointed one too many times by others and we feel that the only person we can rely on to do something right is ourselves.

Or maybe, we are just scared.

We are scared to be vulnerable. We are scared to admit that we don’t have everything as under control as we might like. We are scared to think that anybody out there could possibly be doing better than we are and pity us or make fun of us for not being able to deal with our issues on our own.
But, here is a secret for you: everybody needs help sometimes, and the people who claim they don’t are lying.

Life is hectic. It is unpredictable. It is overwhelming. Yet, there are people and resources out there that are set up exclusively to help out with these types of unpredictable, overwhelming situations.

Everybody is struggling in one way or another.

We all have a lot on our plates and strive to juggle it all. We have past experiences that can plague us and fill us with self-doubt. We have bad days where we may procrastinate and not get everything done when we hoped we might. We deal with difficult situations that can throw us off of our plans and make our deadlines and goals come plummeting to the ground out of nowhere, leaving us in disorganized chaos and cold-blooded fear.

We are allowed to ask for help.

We are allowed to be up front with the people who are relying on us and ask them for grace when we drop the ball, because life is stressful and chaotic and it can make us feel as if we have absolutely no power at all sometimes.

In those times, it is far worse to stay quiet and to let things go. If we do this then soon, we begin to let everything else slip as well. We may lose ourselves to the ease of falling behind. We may accept defeat and find ourselves spiraling ever downward, not believing or even considering that someone out there might be able to reach out a helping hand to help get us out of the mess we’ve found ourselves in and give us the boost we need to get ourselves back on our feet.

It’s never too late to try again. And with a good support network built up, then starting over is not going to be as difficult as it seems. The worst thing to do is to let things spiral out of control because you don’t want to ask for help. If people are able, if they have the time and resources available to them, then they will help you. If you seek out resources, even just by going to the library or doing an internet search, chances are that you will find them. There are people all over the place who are in a similar situation. We should all be helping each other, not letting one another fall through the cracks.

You are strong, competent, confident…a true badass, and you should never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

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Adrian Quintina

Helping Women Stop Self Sabotaging to Glow Up and Thrive. Certified Coach, Speaker, Bestselling Author, Mompreneur, Traveling Enthusiast, @realfearlessher