Here Is the Reason Why You Are So Hard On Yourself!

Adrian Quintina
2 min readMar 6, 2023

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Insecurity is perhaps the biggest roadblock to achieving your goals. If you lack confidence and certainty in yourself and your skills, you’ll never leave the starting line.

Insecurity is the result of poor mental habits and giving too much power to others. With work, you can be a highly confident and secure person!

What causes insecurity? Babies aren’t insecure, so it must be something you’ve learned over the course of your lifetime. How do we become insecure and how to we maintain insecurity into adulthood?

There are several causes of insecurity:

A lack of self-esteem. If you view yourself negatively and believe that you’re incapable, you’re going to feel insecure. The amount of self-esteem you have is ultimately up to you. No one else can decide it for you. However, they can influence your self-esteem if you let them.

Relying on others to make you feel good. Approval from others is nice, but when you need it to feel confident and secure, your feelings of self-worth are out of your control. This creates a strong need for approval and gives too much power to everyone around you.

Unreasonable expectations. The people that are held up in our society are especially beautiful, wealthy, or both. These are the people that we see in the movies. These are the people in the magazines. It’s easy to forget that they’re a very tiny portion of the population. Avoid comparing yourself to others.

Insults and criticisms from your past. These negative comments may have come from parents, teachers, peers, or anyone else from your past. Children are especially sensitive to criticism and may have a hard time moving past negative comments.

Few people feel as secure as they would like. Your feelings about yourself and the world rarely change without work and focus. Make the decision to let go of your unreasonable expectations and your past hurts. The future is waiting for you.

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Adrian Quintina

Helping Women Stop Self Sabotaging to Glow Up and Thrive. Certified Coach, Speaker, Bestselling Author, Mompreneur, Traveling Enthusiast, @realfearlessher