Break Free of the Negative Emotions That Keep You in a Tailspin!

Adrian Quintina
5 min readNov 25, 2022

A lot of people say they want to get out of pain, and I’m sure that’s true, but they aren’t willing to make healing a high priority. They aren’t willing to look inside to see the source of their pain in order to deal with it.

- Lindsay Wagner

Painful situations are a part of life, but your perception of these situations makes all the difference. If you’re holding onto painful memories and feelings, these are very likely keeping you from leading a happy life.

Negative emotions such as fear and heartache can affect your body and mind, leading to dysfunctional relationships, depression, stress, and disease. So it’s important to not only be aware of your emotions, but also what you can do to release them.

You’ve probably noticed that anger and fear make your heart beat faster and your neck muscles tense up. Maybe you get goose bumps or your blood pressure rises. These reactions are your body’s way of telling you that it’s under duress.

Constant anger causes stress on your heart, which can lead to cardiac arrest. Arguing with someone for a long time can lead to exhaustion. You should take heed and protect yourself from these corrosive emotions.

Bottling up negative emotions can also lead to rashes, nausea, constipation, dry throat, bloating, headaches, and difficulty sleeping. When you notice these symptoms, try to determine the reason. People suffering from these ailments often visit doctors for relief, but very seldom is there an identifiable pathological cause for these symptoms.

If you’re angry, depressed, or anxious, it’s important to find out why and do something about it.

It’s completely natural to feel angry and hurt if your partner rejects you, but holding onto this feeling for years will make it impossible for you to move into a healthier relationship.

Losing loved ones can make it difficult to move on, but holding on to these feelings for years only prolongs your unhappiness.

So, what makes us cling to our negative emotions?

The events of our life determine the patterns we follow. If, for example, your parents always told you to go to bed when you misbehaved as a child, you may connect going to bed with negative feelings.

Our brains plays a large part in this process. It assigns an emotion to every piece of incoming sensory information.

If your muscles get tense when you argue with someone, they’ll probably tend to do so in the future. In fact, this bodily signal can alert you to your anger. The trick is to recognize these patterns and their underlying causes.

Here are some ways we can counteract negative emotions:

  1. Write it all down. Pen your feelings in a journal or write your ex a letter that you’ll never send. Writing is cathartic. Writing about your experiences, whether negative or positive, will make you feel lighter. You’ll have a better idea of how to make your next relationship a success.
  2. Look for a pattern in your relationships. Is there a certain type of person you always find yourself attracted to? Does that work for you? Why or why not?
  3. Many women, for instance, find themselves attracted to “bad boys.” This type of man could have criminal tendencies or be violent; he could be a drug addict or a playboy. If you tend to find bad boys attractive, you may want to discover the reason and eliminate it from your psyche.
  4. Clean the house. Get rid of your ex’s things. As you clean, imagine that you’re cleansing your heart of the anger and pain.
  5. Rediscover your hobbies and favorite activities. Maybe you didn’t have much time for these while in the relationship, but now you can return to them. Keep yourself busy with things you like to do. You needn’t depend on anyone else for your enjoyment.
  6. Start an exercise routine. Exercise releases “happy” hormones and will make you healthy and trim. If you feel your overweight problem played a major role in your partner’s rejection, join an exercise program and lose some weight. Do this in a sensible way, choosing an exercise routine which suits your body and mentality.
  7. Spend some time with your friends. Talking to them about your break up may help lighten the heaviness you feel. Ask them about their lives. Shift the focus from you to them. Chat with others online who have suffered heartbreak as well.
  8. Forgive your ex. Or forgive yourself if you blame yourself for the breakup. Forgiveness is essential if you want to move on an cultivate healthy relationships. It’s essential even if you just choose to remain single because resentment and anger are negative emotions that will eat into your slice of happiness.
  9. Be thankful for the relationship and grateful for the love you shared. It was necessary for your self-development or you wouldn’t have encountered it. Identify the lessons you’ve learned because of it and move on.
  10. Find a spiritual path. Use the time alone to focus on your inner self. Most of us are too busy nurturing our physical selves to think of our eternal spiritual selves, but we are spiritual beings in physical bodies.
  11. If you can find the well of joy within yourself, then you won’t need to look for it outside. This could be the best thing you could do to heal painful, negative emotions.
  12. It will give you a new sense of purpose to understand your immaculate true being and try to manifest it.
  13. Get in touch with your inner self through prayer and guidance.
  14. Get a pet. Dogs are the ultimate stress busters. When you’re aching for a hug, hug your dog. They’ll love you unconditionally and will always welcome you back even if you’ve been away for just five minutes.
  15. I hope you find some techniques that resonate with you and will help you take action to put them into practice.
  16. Soon you’ll enjoy a new serenity and passion for life as you break free from the limits of negative emotions and discover the joys of a life.

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Adrian Quintina

Helping Women Stop Self Sabotaging to Glow Up and Thrive. Certified Coach, Speaker, Bestselling Author, Mompreneur, Traveling Enthusiast, @realfearlessher