Are You Embarrassed That You Care What Others Think? Stop Now.

Adrian Quintina
4 min readMar 25, 2022


Are you worried about what everyone thinks?

You’re certainly not alone. Most of my clients struggle with their perceived need for validation and I was once a victim of this as well.

Why do you think we struggled with this?

Scientists believe this concern is rooted in evolution. There was a time that being ostracized from the group meant certain death. You simply couldn’t survive on your own 30,000 years ago. You needed help. It was important to be concerned about how you appeared to others.

However, you don’t have to rely on a village of people to feed you or to keep you safe these days. You have a car. You can buy food at the store. You don’t need to fight off the savages in the next village. Those days are over, but the behavior has not changed over several millennia.

Keeping these ideas in mind will help you to let go of outdated programming and live life on your own terms:

  1. Almost no one actually cares. From the time we enter school until the day we say goodbye to life, it seems that we believe that others care about what we’re doing, how well we’re doing, and why we’re doing it. In reality, most people have other concerns that take priority.
  2. The smoke clears quickly. Even if you get everyone’s tongues wagging about your divorce, affair, job loss, or nose job, everyone will move on quickly. It won’t be a week before people go back to their own priorities.
  3. Regardless of what you do, some people will approve, and some others won’t.
  • You’ll receive compliments on your $100k car from some folks, while others will look down on you for making what they consider to be a frivolous purchase.
  • Lose 50 pounds and you’ll receive compliments from some, while others will tell you that you look unhealthy and should see a doctor.
  • You could adopt a family of third-world orphaned toddlers and someone will be upset that you brought foreigners into the country.
  • You adopted a cat? You should’ve gotten a dog.
  • You went to a Beyonce concert? Her music is overrated.
  • You can’t please everyone. Ever.
  1. They don’t know you. No one knows what is best for you. You can’t even figure that out for yourself half of the time, but you have a better idea than your cubicle mate at work. Others don’t know you well enough to have a valid opinion.
  2. The end results are yours to deal with, good or bad. The results of your choices are your responsibility. The bad choices you make are yours to clean up. The good results you receive in life are yours to enjoy. Make your own decisions, because you’re alone in dealing with the consequences.
  3. Life is short. The years fly by, especially as you get older. One day just melts into the next. It only makes sense to live your life your way.
  4. It gets easier. Once you stop basing your choices on the opinions of others, you quickly learn that it doesn’t matter what others think. It gets easier to care even less the next time.

You don’t need many people in your circle to thrive in today’s world. Those who matter are on your side ad have your best interests at heart. The rest are irrelevant.

Stop being overly concerned about what others think and you’ll feel a new freedom to live the life you want and deserve.

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Adrian Quintina

Helping Women Stop Self Sabotaging to Glow Up and Thrive. Certified Coach, Speaker, Bestselling Author, Mompreneur, Traveling Enthusiast, @realfearlessher